Thursday, July 29, 2010

Kalamazoo disc jockeys dead after apparent suicide-by-cop

[Flagstaff, Az]
Kalamazoo Disc Jockeys Fidel and Raul Podcastro (no relation) were killed in an apparent suicide-by-cop scheme on Highway US40 in the early hours of Thursday morning. The two Michigan residents embarked on a non-stop trip heading west to California following the broadcast of their radio show, The LAN Party, on Western Michigan University's independent station, 89.1fm WIDR. The men departed Kalamazoo at approximately 3:00a.m. Wednesday morning after posting the podcast of that night's show to their website. Heading westbound on US40 between Winslow and Flagstaff, Arizona State Police stopped the vehicle at a citizenship checkpoint. The men failed to produce any legal documents whatsoever. Background checks were duly made. Homeland Security confirmed that the two men were illegal aliens that operated under the ruse of upstanding citizenry while evading immigration officers. Once realizing their gambit was lost, the men fled the scene at a high rate of speed. Police engaged the suspects and employed the PIT Maneuver in an attempt to stop the fleeing vehicle. The maneuver was unsuccessful but apparently enraged the two fleeing DJs so much that they stopped their car and engaged police in a gunfight. Officer Harold "Harry" Sweatback was killed in the interaction. Following the exchange, the men again fled the scene and continued heading west on US40. Roadblocks were set up outside of Flagstaff in anticipation of the speeding car reaching the city. Tire spikes laid across the road were able to deflate the tires on both the suspect's car as well as the police cruisers behind them. The resulting loss of control of all vehicles involved led to a collision that caused the vehicles to roll. While upside down in a ditch, Fidel and Raul again engaged police with firearms until both suspects were shot and killed. Toxicology reports made on-scene suggest nothing out of the ordinary. An autopsy is to follow later in the week.
Initial time-line construction suggests that the two men stole a 1969 Dodge Charger on Tuesday evening after tricking the owner into letting them take the collector vehicle on a test drive. Owner of the vehicle, Paul Boognish, responded to our reporter: "Yep, theys [sic] drove off with my baby. Mite sad, it is. Oh well, I was too depressed to drive it these days anyway, what with the economy and the oil spill and all ." After departing Kalamazoo, the two carjackers headed west in an apparent attempt to beat all known distance-time records set between Michigan and California. The stolen Charger was selected for it's capacious gas tank as well as it's timeless style and accelerative properties. Credit card receipts from gas stations suggest that the car stopped less than 6 times before reaching Arizona and their subsequent death. The men placed several calls to friends and family members while eluding the police. All witnesses contacted by our reporter suggest that the two felt no remorse for their actions. Friend Nate Ditka adds: "Doesn't surprise me. Those two were in this country on expired student visas and were looking for a way out. Oh, and they were into gay shit, too."
More news to follow on this development as more information is released by the police and the medical examiner.

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